The Return Of Mechasmack

You ever been to a party where you feel like you kinda wandered in off the street? Left your mingling
skills in your other pants so you spend most of your time searching for something or someone familiar to latch on to so that you will fit it. And while on this
quest you feel invisible or perhaps the opposite - like all eyes are on lonely you. Desperation builds as
you struggle for a handhold, cursing the friends that dragged you here against your wishes and then dumped
you as soon as you got in thru the door. Or your anxiety flows while you look at your watch or cell phone every 43 seconds wondering where those fools who told you meet them here could possible be. You might muster up enough guff to sneak into a conversation, risking weird looks and the eventual dispersal of the group due to your entrance. You might find the refreshment center, hoping to make contact when someone offers you a drink or tells you where the chips are. You might find consolation in complaining about waiting in line to use the toilet. But you manage to slip through all that unnoticed and then an even more pathetic person latches on to you, further lowering your chances of having any semblance of cool. It's about time for someone to rescue you but Einstein's theories take control and turn the time-dial down until it's all going in slow motion and loses its color. Then you realize that you're not even at a party - you're remembering something that happened back in college. But now it happens to you every day.

There must be something wrong with my ears. Those earphones that came with my iPod don't fit. So I went out and got the in ear plugs. And they only stay in for about 23 seconds before they slide out enough so that I don't get good bass. So while I get to floss my iPod on the train like other peeps, I'm not really enjoying it. I could get other earphones, but part of the coolness of having the iPod is having the white earplugs so that everyone knows you have the iPod. Then you can nod to the other iPeeps while commuting like you're in a special club.

So I'm looking for photo frames so I can finally start putting something on my walls. I just happened upon this product listed at Target.com:

http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=br_1_10/601-0941341-2344909?%5Fencoding=UTF8&frombrowse=1&asin=B0000C1I93

Too funny. But also suspicious.

Yee Haw!! Finished my taxes with a whole day to spare. I owe $3 to the state. The man's always got his hand in my pocket!

My Horoscope From The Onion

Hope can sustain a person through excrutiating trials, but unfortunately, there's no real reason to believe that the new Star Wars movie will be tolerable.

So is it wrong to use those address labels organizations send you when they're asking for donations if you don't send them any money? I know there's a guilt factor. It's like they're saying, "Hey look. We made you these address labels and sent them to you for free! How about you give us a few bucks for a good cause?" But if I don't send them money AND don't use the labels, then the labels are just going to waste. And that's not right either. Hmmm... there's got to be a guilt free way to get free address labels. Or maybe the answer is to not feel guilty.

I noticed the lake looked really blue this morning on the way to work. That was refreshing. It's been a bit cold for May around here, even for me. I'm usually complaining that it's too warm and muggy since we have to wear suits until after Memorial Day, so I should be happy. But I've still got the heat on in my place and that's a bit too chilly. But it's gonna jump into the 70's this week so I can complain about being too hot on the way to work next week. Yee Haw!

Today is the day.
Today is the day I rue.
Today is the day the piercing sun beat upon my skin like the crack of a master's whip.
Today is the day the knot around my neck grew tighter with the heat, pulling me towards my doom.
Today is the day I knew my journey would be long and hot and I would get no pleasure upon reaching my destination.
Today is the first day of many uncomfortable commutes to work.

(Those of you who don't have to wear suits to work, especially you chicks who get to wear flip-flops all the damn time, count your blessings.)

It suddenly occured to me on the way home from work today just how many bald white guys look just like Moby. Seriously, I'll bet you can walk around and find a Mobyclone within 30 minutes. And you don't really have to look. He'll be wearing jeans and sneakers and a t-shirt or a hoodie. He won't necessarily be wearing glasses. And if you're far enough away, he might even look if you yell, "Hey Moby!"

I used to get emails from random women all the time telling me how their boyfriends or husbands were neglecting them and how lonely and horny they are and asking if I'd like to come over and spend some time with them. But I don't get them anymore. I don't know where these women got my email address or why they thought I could help them but it was kinda nice to feel desired, ya know? But I guess I missed my chance cuz they don't email anymore. So let that be a lesson to you guys out there - if a strange woman emails you out of the blue, saying she's lonely and could use some company and you think to yourself, "Wow. This is too good to be true. It must be a scam." you better find out cuz they won't be after you forever.

Day 5.
Progress.

So even though I woke up feeling lousy again, I did begin to notice an improvement around noon today. I swallowed without wincing for the first time since last Friday. But I kept myself from getting too excited. I knew it was still going to take some time for me to be able to eat solids with no problem. I was able to eat mac and cheese for dinner. It was weirdly exciting. But I suppose it would be for anyone for whom the largest meal in 5 days was 3/4 of a small fruit smoothie.

So Kimi and Jason almost came to blows during lunch today. I forget what they were arguing about, but it was very entertaining. I don't think I've ever seen Kimi so riled up before. Jason gets riled up 2 or 3 times a day so that's nothing new. But Kimi? That's refeshing. So just when she's curled her fingers into fists and calls Jason a simple minded fool, I notice that Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds is playing in the restaurant. Freaky.

The countdown has begun. I've finally let work start to slip to the side as my pending trip to Spain becomes closer than ever. In 28 hours I should be on a plane to Barcelona. And hopefully in 28 hours that plane will actually be taking off. I definitely need the vacation. I'm looking forward to the time off.

So I thought myself lucky as I entered the train on the red line coming home from work. There were several available seats. I wouldn't have to stand for 40 minutes. But about halfway home entered Ms. Loudmouth Cell Phone Talker. You know who I'm talking about. It's that person that has a loud voice to begin with and now they're talking on a cell phone so it just gets amplified even more so everyone within a block can experience their conversation.

Now I'm not going to start babbling about the good ol' days when we got along just fine without being in constant communication with each other. I can't go anywhere without my cell phone and I use it often enough in public to know not to throw stones at others that do as well. But at least I try to be somewhat considerate of those around me. I try to remember that just because I'm outside doesn't mean I have to shout. The mics on these phones are pretty good. The phone doesn't even reach your mouth so you should know it's gonna pick up your voice without shouting unless you happen to be talking to Bruce Willis from the flight deck of an aircraft carrier.

So even though I had my headphones on I had to endure this loudmouth who used the word stoked about 11 times. Who the hell says stoked anymore? I guess the peeps whos said it in the first place. I supposed in a few years some kid will be making fun of me on the train for saying peeps. At least there was some relief and amusement from the other passengers as we gave each other the Geez! Is she talking to someone on Mars?! look.

I haven't been sleeping well lately. So last night I popped a Tylenol PM and finally got a full night's rest. I even decided to sleep in. I really needed it.

So I get on the train and there's this woman smiling. And smiling people automatically make me suspicious. That just shows how messed up the world is that I have to concern myself with why this woman is smiling. What does she know that I don't? Is she really just generally happy? So happy that she has a constant smile? What the hell is she so happy about? I should ask her. No, that would be weird. No, really, I should ask her! Nah.

Anyway, I got over that when she got off the train. When I got off at my stop, someone got one of their flip-flops caught in the escalator. I laughed out loud. (Calm down, no one was injured) Those damn flip-floppers. I probably had a silly grin on my face as I walked to the office, prompting someone else to start thinking "What the hell is he smiling about. Why the hell is he so happy?"

I saw SmileyGirl on the train on the way home from work again today. Still had me thinking the entire trip about what she's so happy about. Others have suggested that perhaps she's got some facial deformity that causes her smile all the time. But it's not like some weird Joker smile, it looks like she's genuinely smiling. There were people around her so again I didn't ask. Maybe next time.

So I finally went to see a doctor about my messed up finger. He basically told me it's just going to be messed up forever. Thanks, Doc! I might be able to get a bit more range of motion, but that's going to take physical therapy... for my finger. And I have to wear this torture device called a joint jack. Don't we have bionic finger replacements by now?

So we went back to wearing suits at work today. It's not as bad as I predicted. I still remember how to tiea tie. And it's not as hot as I thought it would be. It's still hot, but not the scorching temperatures I was expecting to welcome us back to wearing 3.5 layers (tie is half a layer). And of course now I don't like any of my ties so I need to go shopping for new ones. Ties are one of those clothing items I hate spending money on because they're so useless but can be so costly. You don't really wanna cheap out and buy some tie like the ones you had in high school. But at the same time you have to consider that you might be paying as much or more than you can get a nice dress shirt for. But hey, I gotta make a good impression. Who am I impressing again?

Ahh... today is the last day of summer. Some people may relish the thought, but c'mon - it's Chicago. It's going to be 90 degrees today! It's probably going to be warm the rest of the month. So don't worry, you'll still be able to wear your flip-flops for a while. I, however, look forward to my favorite season. Fall is the best because it's not cold, but cool. And you still have many sunny days to be out and do stuff and not get all sweaty just stepping out your door. I just happened to be watching the news this morning and discovered that Chicago finally has a WNBA team - the Chicago Sky. OK, I'm not so sure about the name but I'm glad to see we've finally got a women's basketball team here.

I'm also really diggin' the new EP from VHS or Beta - Le Funk. This whole indie-disco-rock thing has got me sort of excited about music again. It appeals to both my love of catchy hooks and funky basslines. And there's remixes galore!! VHS or Beta have put something out that really showcases their dance roots. This EP is all disco and house music. And it's great. A couple of more songs for my upcoming indie dance rock mix.

I know what you're thinking - Where are the first 22 chapters? Well, I figure it doesn't make sense to start with chapter 1 since I didn't just move into the city yesterday.

Despite the grumbling earlier this year about budget problems with the CTA, they managed to get some more funding so people can get to work. Yippee. I know I sound sarcastic, but I have to admit that the Chicago Card has been a blessing for people like me who like auto-payments and can save 2.3 seconds by not having to stop at the turnstyle. I suppose it must be the same elation experienced by iPass users when they fly by all the suckers waiting in line to throw change into the tollway urinals. It really is one of those little perks during the everyday doldrums of schlepping to the office. When I first got my card, I almost felt like I was from the future or something as I zipped past people still using those archaic passes, waiting for the machine to eat them, digest them, and vomit them back up. I often imagined them thinking to themselves, "Wowee! How did he do that? He didn't even stop. He just went right thru the turnstyle like he stepped on the magic mat in front of the doors at Walgreens or something." Some people even took it a step further to save an additional 0.3 seconds by simply positioning their butts in front of the card read cuz it could read it through their pants. What a marvel of efficiency.

Too bad that hasn't extended to the rest of the system.

I've often complained at the lack of an express option for the trains here in Chicago. I live on the way north side and it would be nice if I didn't have to make 14 stops to get to work. But I understand that it would be a huge project to building additional train lines at this point. But it's gonna have to happen eventually. But until that happens I'll have to be discontent with my new superpower. I seem to have gained the ability to delay trains. Never fear CTA riders - if you need to get to work late, just make sure you get to the platform at the same time I do. Wave goodbye to that train that you just missed, cuz it's gonna be the last one you see for quite some time. Take the time to relax and prepare yourself for the busy day ahead. Maybe I can convice the CTA to let them put Starbucks right on the platform so you can get another cup of coffee while you wait. And on a good day, if I tune my power just right, even when the next train finally arrives, it will be too crowded for anyone else to board. If I got a good night's sleep I can extend this to up to 3 trains. Just be sure to bring your celly so you can call somebody and tell them you're still waiting for the train. I will have copies of my personalized train delay slips for you to show as proof that I messed up your morning commute.

One of the things I've noticed about living in the city is that it makes a person almost completely deaf to the solicitations of people on the street. Back when I was still in school, I interned at a company with offices downtown. Having lived in the suburbs most of my life, I was not accustomed to seeing homeless people, and certainly not used to having anyone ask me for change. Upon first encountering these people, I could not pass any of them without feeling guilty and giving up my milk money so they can get a bite to eat. It sure didn't take long for that compassion to go away.

I'm not completely heartless. The approaching cold weather will definitely spur my spirit of giving to those in need. However, I have to be careful not to let the few bad eggs ruin it for the other people who are in need.

Bad Egg #1
On a particularly winterey day some years ago I decided to get lunch from McDonalds. There was this guy who had staked out the entrance to this establishment who would ask patrons for their change. Sometimes I gave him change, but mostly not. But this day it was really cold and snowing and I felt a little bad for the guy. So I decided to take it up a notch. I got him a hamburger meal along with my lunch. I figured if this guy was collecting change to get something to eat then I'll just get him something to eat. So I feel all good about myself as I exit McD's and hand him the bag. The look on his face is thanks enough until he opens the bag and complains that it isn't what he wanted.

Bad Egg #2
Another sign that I needed to stop eating at McDonalds so much. This encounter also happened in the winter. I was sitting, eating my lunch and reading a book when I was approached by someone asking for change. I said I didn't have any change. However, I offered the guy my french fries that I had barely touched. He responded with "Man, I don't want your leftover fries!"

There have been several more bad eggs since I've lived and worked in the city of Chicago. I'm not going to list them all. I was reminded of them yesterday, however when I encounted one of the possible scams - the fundraiser. The fundraiser scam involves some kids who are trying to raise money for their baseball/football/soccer team by selling candy. Now people like helping kids do productive things. And people like candy even more so it seems like a good combo. However, you have to question whether or not these kids are actually selling candy for a sports organization. It's even more obvious when it's an adult selling candy. Most of the time if I feel like "donating" I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. And yesterday I was in a giving mood so I actually took off my earphones for a minute to ask how much this kid was selling boxes of M&M's for.

"Two for $10," said the young man.

"How much!?" said I, restraining profanity for the kids' sakes.

"Two for $10," said the juvenile delinquent.

"Sorry, not today," said I, followed my grumbling under my breath.

Who's gonna buy candy at mini-bar prices like that? I've never heard of any legit fundraising effort asking that much for a box of candy. And these kids better lower they're prices if they're just selling candy for the money. So it looks like I won't be buying any candy this fall or winter.

Anyone who lives and owns a car and actually drives this car regularly in Chicago will eventually become one of two types of drivers:

Type A: CityManiacRacerX
The virtual inability to get anywhere fast in the city can drive a person crazy. The traffic will push this driver over the edge to the point where certain traffic laws no longer apply (who wants to wait 5 minutes at a No Turn On Red at 3am with no other cars for miles?) The inability to find anywhere to park will force you to do spin-outs Dukes Of Hazzard style to get that spot on the other side of the street. And eventually this driver will be pushed to the point of fantasizing about running over pedestrians.

Type B: GoodCitizenCautiousDriver
These people are good drivers (or they think they are) They drive the speed limit and are cautious about handling their vehicles. They come to complete stops at stop signs and sometimes even slow down before going through an intersection for safety. CityManiacRacerX hates this driver. GoodCitizenCautiousDriver keeps GoodCitizenCautiousDriver from getting anywhere in a timely manner.

It's probably obvious by now which type I am. I admit. But the city made me do it. You literally can't go anywhere in less than 20 minutes. That is THE mininum travel time no matter what the distance. And if it's Saturday afternoon, double that.

I was reminded of my hatred of some pedestrians the other night while attempting to travel through the city. I could list the types of pedestrians but it would take too long and make me too angry. But no matter which subclass pedestrians in Chicago fall under, most are in the same superclass - the ImAPedestrianAndHaveTheRightOfWaySoDontEvenThinkOfHittingMeWithYourCarEvenWhenImCrossing AgainstTheLight pedestrians. So I was in the left turn lane, which happened to have a left turn light - something badly needed at more lights in the city. The light turned green. The experienced CityManiacRacerX's in front of me immediately took off, knowing that left turn lights are rare and when we are blessed to have them they only last 1.467 seconds. I know I tend to exaggerate on my rants but I'm willing to bet money I'm accurate on this to within 0.001 seconds. So we are actually making it through the light only to be stopped by THE IDIOT PEDESTRIANS WHO ARE CROSSING AGAINST THE LIGHT SO WE HAVE TO STOP BECAUSE THEY REFUSE TO STOP AND NOW WE ARE BLOCKING TRAFFIC AND SOME OF THESE PEDESTRIANS ACTUALLY HAVE THE NERVE TO YELL AT US WHEN WE TRY TO INCH THROUGH THE HERD! I swear, it's like these people have never driven before and completely forgot how frustrating it can me to make a turn in this city. It just makes me so mad when people refuse to let the cars through. They can clearly see that it's causing a traffic jam. But they're pedestrians and they have the right of way and exercise that right even when they're technically breaking the law.

Now I don't want to be a hypocrite. Of course I've been the pedestrian as much or more than I've been CityManiacRacerX. But I do try to put myself in the driver's seat and pay attention to whether or not I have the right to block a car. I actually witnessed people crossing against the light as a car was approaching and they didn't even pay attention to the fact that the car should have run them over. So I was actually glad to read a few weeks ago that the city is considering giving out jaywalking tickets to people downtown during working hours. And I certainly understand. There are plenty of pedestrians who really deserve it. They don't consider how much traffic they cause. It would be nice if we could put the sidewalks above the streets, or vice versa.

Feels like I haven't been here in a long time. I suppose it has been a while since I posted, but I haven't really had much to say. As I write this, I'm listening to the new Holiday Mix by DFA available on iTunes for 99 cents! What a bargain. And the new Street Official is bangin!

So yesterday I almost witnessed what Dane Cook has been lusting for - a man almost was struck by a bus. Here's a warning to the 5 people who read my blog - pay attention to the left turn arrows at Randolph and Michigan. When the light on Michigan turns red, pedestrians are always tempted to walk across before the walk sign shows you the white man so you know it's ok (cuz remember kids, the white way is the right way) BUT, a few seconds later they get a left turn arrow and too many times there's some idiot walking in front the cars as they are about to gun it to make the left turn. Some continue on oblivious to the traffic they've caused. Some get irate like the pedestrians in Chapter 24. But yesterday was the first time I saw someone almost get struck by a vehicle. That would not have been pretty at all. Plus it would have ruined it for the rest of us jaywalkers as the city would probably put up some type of gate that opens only when the walk sign is lit, keeping us waiting and anticipating like race horses. This was just more evidence for my plan to move all car traffic underground in the downtown area. Everybody wins.

Speaking of winning, the CTA has decided to punish those who do not get a new Chicago Card. Now I like the Chicago card despite the Big Brother aspect. It makes it convenient to pay for the rides and you can slide through the gates quicker. And I'm sure in a few months you'll be able to pay for coffee at Starbucks with them. But now they're raising the price for cash-paying customers. And I don't think enough of them know. There's also a rumor that they're finally going to get aisle-facing seats in the new train cars coming in a few years. Pro: more room to manuever. Con: more people giving you weird looks (maybe that's just me)

Let this be a warning to you all this Christmas season. There, I said it. I thought it was just a silly joke. I thought that these talking heads just had too much time on their hands and couldn't think of anything else to attack for the next few weeks so they just made up this whole "War On Christmas" crap. The idea just seemed ludicrous to me and I had better things to do.

But now I'm singing a different tune. I was walking down the street yesterday, minding my own business, not bothering a soul. Out of nowhere comes this liberal and stole Christmas right out of my hands! I couldn't believe it. In broad daylight this liberal had the audacity to steal my Christmas! How do I know it was a liberal you ask? Cuz only a liberal would steal my Christmas. I was all set to get my Christmas on and now it's off.

And as if that wasn't enough - one of my colleagues at work this afternoon asked me where I'd be spending Christmas. And before I could even tell him that a liberal stole my Christmas, a gang of liberal ninja lawyers busted in through the windows and sued him for saying Christmas. Damn those liberal ninja lawyers. They're everywhere these days.

So I hope that you all will heed my advice. If you want to get your Christmas on this year you better keep it to yourself. Don't mention it outside the safety of your home. Don't even think about talking about Jesus. And for goodness sake, minimize the red clothing.

I hate these commercials they have on the radio now promoting shows on NBC. It involves these seemingly twentysomething nerds talking about what's coming on that night and how much they're going to enjoy it. It's not that they're advertising the shows that bothers me, it's the faux casual setting they try to knock you over the head with. Like we're supposed to believe these guys are just sitting around talking about their upcoming night of television. Now I talk about tv as much or more as any body else in the tri-state area but I have yet to have a conversation anything like these dumb commercials. Sorry, just had to get that out.

I have a neighbor that I haven't heard a peep from in a couple of months. And she owns a dog so you'd think I'd hear a peep out of it once and a while. No tv sounds, no clanking dishes, nada.

No bad smell coming from the unit so I guess that's a good sign.

Still not a peep from my neighbor. Still no bad smell either. The Christmas wreath has been taken down. I suppose that's a sign of life.

So on the way to work this morning I saw two old Korean ladies arguing on a street corner. There was something about the way they were gesturing and how the wind was blowing, it almost looked like it was in slow motion as I watched from across the street. Then for some reason I felt like something bad was going to happen.

Is "Old Korean Ladies Arguing On A Street Corner" an omen?

Still not a peep from the neighbor. A note has been slipped under her door but has remained there for 3 days.

A new wreath has appeared on the door. Another sign of life. Still not a peep from her or the dog.

I think I heard someone sneeze this morning!!

Don't you just love when you get one of those projects that you really need a year to do properly but it's gotta be done in about 3 weeks. Man, I have been working nonstop for so long I can't remember what day it is. Oh wait, it's Friday. I know that because we have a meeting tomorrow morning at 8am. No cartoons for me. There aren't any cartoons on Saturday morning anyway. I guess I should consider myself fortunate for having grown up during the golden age of Saturday morning cartoons - aka the 80's.

But I digress. And I know what you're thinking.

"Quit yer whinin, pansy! We all have those periods at work where we have to work 12 - 16 hours a day, every day, for weeks on end so just suck it up and get back to work!"

But I gotta tell ya, it's getting to me. I always thought I was a pretty good multitasker but I think I've reached my max recently. I can't keep track of what I'm supposed to be doing or who last asked me to do something or which database I'm looking at. Speaking of, Sybase sucks cuz I can't do anything without it timing out. Come on! Is 7 million records that freakin' much. No! Maybe it's the ODBC connection. Maybe you're about to stop reading right now cuz I'm starting to geek out. Well, you should have known that was gonna happen when you first started reading this post as I am complaining about work.

I guess I better get back to it even though I'm waiting for this "Executing..." message to go away so I can start the next thing that will make it say "Executing..." for a virtual eternity.

Today is one of those days where technology saved me a major headache.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend asked me why would I be so lazy as to drive to work when I'm so close to the train. Well, the first thing that came to mind was a "for instance." Say I wanted to get to work at 7am. I could take the train, but I'd have to leave at 6am. Or I could drive and leave at 6:50am. Plus if I end up working until midnight I don't have to extend that already long day by another 45 minutes by taking the train home.

But today was another example of why I drive to work sometimes. I get text messages from CTA Alerts that give me updates on the public transit situation here in Chicago. And apparently this morning the Red Line is fubar. Luckily I got the message before I left or else it seems I might still be standing on a train as it crawls toward downtown full of angry passengers.

I've often wondered how the henchmen know what to do when their leader snaps their finger. All he/she has to do is snap their finger or glance at a henchman and he knows to bring over the briefcase full of money or "take away" the prisoner or bring a bowl of jellybeans or something. Do they have it all worked out beforehand? Or is it part of the job requirements to read the mind of whoever snapping their finger? I guess I'll just have to wait until I have henchmen of my own. Or maybe if I meet someone with henchmen I can just ask them.

Most of my friends have been complaining about the temperature here in ChiTown for this so-called spring. And yes, it has been a little chilly here the past few weeks. But I have to say, it was actually sort of a relief for me since May and September are usually uncomfortable for me Monday thru Thursday. Why? Because unlike these complaining people who get to wear short sleeves and flip-flops to work, I gotta wear a suit. And walking to work in the sun is no joke, especially when it can get up to 80 degrees by 7:30 a.m. some days. And I hate starting the day sweaty.

I know you're saying, "Well, it's not our fault you pump out the BTU's and get hot when the rest of us are cold." True, but I still enjoyed the temperature we've had so far. I could have used a bit more sun.

We go biz casual next week. So I promise not to complain again until September.

I can't sleep... again.

I completely exhausted myself during martial arts class earlier tonight, well yesterday now, but yet I can't sleep. I've learned not to fight it, it's futile. The longer I go before I fall asleep, the more I think about the fact that I can't sleep. Then the negotiation starts -

"I'll be ok if I can just get 4 hours. 4 hours will be enough right?"

"I'll be ok if I can just get 3 hours. 3 hours will be enough right?"

"Can I get at least two? Or should I just go to work now. At least I won't be sweaty when I get there cuz the sun isn't up yet."

So I think movies filmed with digital cameras look crappy on tv if they're not broadcast in hi-def. Revenge of the Sith is on, but it's not on the main HBO channel so it's not in hi-def and it looks crappy. Not the usual crappy that a media snob like myself appoints to regular television. I really do think that because it's a digital movie, it just looks crappy in anything less than 480p. And if you don't know what that means then good luck being invited over to my place for movie night.

People have told me I should meditate. I think I can sort of meditate when I can't sleep. The problem is after a while I can actually feel myself falling asleep, which interrupts the meditation cuz I get excited that I'm falling asleep, which basically wakes me up. Maybe I should go straight for the Ambien. I certainly get enough emails about it every day. Or maybe I should buy that movie Supernova starring Angela Bassett. Don't get me wrong, I love Angela Bassett. I wish she'd do more movies. But when I rented that movie about 5 years ago, it put me to sleep 3 nights in a row. I think I actually took it back to the video store without watching it. I finally did see the entire movie on cable later. eh

I need a break from my life.

Riding the CTA in Chicago is always an adventure. You will observe people from every walk of life on the trains and buses that service the city. And despite the unpredictibility of these transportation modes, it's an ok experience for the most part.

One that thing that amazes me however, is how rude some people can be when they're not paying attention to anyone outside of their personal space. I was sitting down on the train this morning and a woman hit me in the head 3 times with her book while adjusting her bag. How can you not be aware that you just smacked someone in the head with your book? You don't have to be that sensitive to realize that your book hit something and that something might be the head of the person your standing over. And that made me think of the time this guy was rushing off the train and smacked me in the head with his duffel bag. The bag almost came off his shoulder - how could he not notice that he had just smacked someone in the head with it? He was in his own little zone and not caring about anyone else. tsk tsk tsk

Later the woman who smacked me with her book got to sit down next to me and someone got on the train and smacked her in the head with her backpack. I had to bite my lip to keep from bursting out laughing.

Yesterday I was reminded of a certain condition I seem to have which disables my sense of direction anytime someone asks me for directions in the city. For some reason, if I'm walking and someone stops me and asks me how to get somewhere, I just blank. Then of course after I give them the wrong directions and start to walk away it occurs to me that they just need to go one block in the opposite direction.

Hopefully, I'm not the only one that suffers from this condition. Maybe it's being put on the spot that hinders my directional sense. And it happened again yesterday on the train. I gave out the wrong directions yet again. Luckily I was able to correct myself before sending this woman with baby in stroller roaming around the city.

I may have already complained about this, but I was reminded of it again yesterday on the train ride home.

People yakking loudly on their cell phones!!!

Again, as one who is almost never without their cell phone,I don't want to sound like a hypocrite. But I am very conscience of how loud I'm talking in public with it. I think I even talk lower than normal simply for the sake of some privacy. I don't need complete strangers all up in my kool-aid. And txt msging is perf 4 when u just need 2 tell some1 ur almost there or gonna b l8.

A couple of weeks ago some teenager was on the phone, blabbering away to someone name Caroline. I know this for sure because it seems they had a bad connection so there would be extended periods of her yelling "Caroline? Caroline? Caroline?" This girl was planning to have some friends over that evening. And she kept getting louder and louder. People actually moved to the other end of the car. Her friend sitting next to her even shushed her a bunch of times because she was practically yelling on the phone. So now everyone on that side of the car knew she was having friends over, who was and who was not invited, that her friend was grounded because his grades were bad the last quarter, and way too much other information.

Yesterday this woman was just yakking away the most of the ride home. This woman next to me gets this disgusted look on her face and moves to the other end of the car, only to pull out her cell phone and start yakking. Luckily I was able to escape into the 32-bit world of my GameBoy.

And now the CTA is going to install transmitters in the subway so people can blab away on their phones underground. Anybody who's ridden the trains underground in Chicago knows it's so loud you can barely hear the person next you. I can only imagine the yelling people will have to do on their cell phones. I guess I just need to invest in a new pair of headphones for my iPod. Not those weak-ass little white ear-buds that are pretty much only good for announcing to the rest of the world that you're super cool because you have an iPod. I need to get those big-ass headphones like the ones I use to DJ. Make fun of me if you want, but I won't have to hear you yakking about whatever crap you must yak about on the train.

Obviously I wasn't quite awake during my commute this morning as I chose to sit next to this guy chatting on his phone. But I must say that I was pleasantly surprised. I started reading my paper and immediately forgot about him. I could barely hear him talking. Even when I was done reading and just closed my eyes for a bit, I still didn't even notice him talking on the phone. It wasn't until I noticed him close his phone as we got close to downtown that I remembered he was talking the entire time. It was such a sharp contrast from the usual braying that you encounter with people talking on cell phones in public. It was a nice reminder of how we all should talk on our phones in public. I will definitely be thinking about that next time I have to talk on the train.

I found this site that looks up the number of occurences of your name in the U.S. The pooter didn't find my name. One is the loneliest number..."

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 0 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

I'd like to send a shout out to the four people who read my blog. Thanks for your support. Without you, my words would just be floating in cyberspace like that proverbial falling tree in the woods with no one around to hear it.

Anyway, some of you may have received a communication from my alter ego - tmm. tmm is finally getting back to making some use of all of his records. The past year has been a push to do more mixes and post them online. And now tmm is venturing out to play for actual people, live.

There's a small event at TarBar on November 17th. tmm will be spinning drum&bass. It's a start.

There's a hot dog place near the bar called Chubby Weiners. I kid you not. So I'll take the four of you out for a hot dog after the show.

bootytronic.com/events/

SNL was actually pretty good last night. Thanks, Tivo!

Is it just me, or is Akon on every other song on the radio right now?

To all the people in the Santa outfits at the Pontiac last night - thanks for the cheer.

What do I want for Christmas?

Armed with gift cards, I foolishly went to Best Buy this morning to see if I could get my hands on a Wii. The internet's been abuzz the past few weeks about shipments of Wii's arriving at Best Buy, Circuit City, and Target. I thought I might have a chance if I got there early. Unfortunately, I made 2 mistakes:

1) Trusting the stores hours listed on the web site
2) Underestimating the will of people wanting to get their hands on the Wii, who were there hours before the store opened

It's ok. It's not like I have a 7-year-old waiting at home with her heart set on getting a Wii. At some point in 2007 their availability should increase. Some day.

If you're looking for a PS3, they've got plenty.

And to that lady that almost hit me as I was coming into the parking lot and then had the nerve to give me that "What the hell are you doing?' look, LEARN TO DRIVE! Don't you hate that? It's bad enough that the other person is clearly in the wrong, but to top it off they give you that look like you did something wrong.

Today is a sad day.

After lunch I saw the document in my inbox I've been dreading for months: The requisition letter for my Blackberry.

I've been avoiding it as long as I possibly could, I suppose. As much as I love gadgets like this, the thought of being tied to work any more than I already am was the last thing I wanted. I've often teased people I know who have them attached to their hips all the time, constantly buzzing and checking email. My goal for 2007 was to increase my free time. Oh, well.

I will try to be optimistic about this. One good thing is I'll be able to check email while not at the computer, which is the only reason I drag my laptop home at times. And since we have a team in India that I need to be in touch with, it will help facilitate communication. And at least now I have a way to keep in touch if I'm out of the country. If I can just find a version of Galaga that runs on it then I'm set.