The Return Of Mechasmack

What's up with these new Gap commercials with lame-ass remakes of great songs? Why can't they use the originals? And why do I care so much?

Is it just me, or is Teen Titans on like all the time?

Nah. So I'm already in love with Adult Swim on Cartoon Network. And the new show Robot Chicken is definitely up my warped alley. This show is filarious. No that's not a typo - it's freaking hilarious!

I was thinking of getting a dvd recorder / tivo device so that I can watch even more tv. I had my eye on a nice model from Toshiba but my friend found this one from Lite-On over the weekend. I'm definitely impressed. Ok, it's not as pretty and it's not Tivo. But it looks like a good product with enough features and good reviews. Decisions, decisions. I should get my taxes done soon.

My Bratwurst has a first name, it's F-R-I-T-Z. My Bratwurst has a second name it's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N

McBain - The Simpsons

So I was at the barber shop this morning getting all of my hairs cut. Suddenly there's some commotion right outside. So we all look to see what's going on because it's one of those glorious days in Chicago where they prohibit you from parking all freakin day for that five minutes that the street cleaner is coming down the block. So they effectively cut the already limited parking spaces in half. And none of us wants another $60 ticket for that crap. But this was not the reason for commotion.

Some guy in a van had stopped to park on this particular street. But as he's backing into his spot, some other guy starts pulling in behind him going forward. I just had to laugh as the vision of George Costanza and that guy Mike (who may or may not have called Jerry Seinfeld a phony) standing in the street, neither one budging for that parking space and polarizing effect it had on the neighborhood. Unfortunately, this incident did not swell to such proportions. The guy who was backing into the spot yielded, which IMHO he should not have done. The guy sneaking in from behind was clearly in the wrong. But it gets to a point where the traffic jam you're causing pressures you to give in and you just have to hope that karma will do it's job. And if it doesn't, the pidgeons surely will.

Well, I'm not the kind to kiss and tell but I've been seen with Farah.
I've never been with anything less than a nine so fine.
I've been on fire with Sally Fields, gone fast with a girl named Bo,
But somehow they just don't end up as mine.

It's a death-defying life I lead, I take my chances.
I die for a livin' in the movies and TV
But the hardest thing I ever do is watch my leadin'ladies
Kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging' my knees.

I might fall from a tall building, I might roll a brand-new car,
'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that made Redford such a star.

I've never spent much time in school but I taught ladies plenty.
It's true I hire my body out for pay.
I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs, blown up for Raquel Welch,
But when I end up in the hay it's only hay, hay, hay.

I might jump an open drawbridge or Tarzan from a vine,
'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine.

They'll never make me president but I've got the best first ladies.
Some days I've got 'em as far as the eye can see.
A morning dive with Jackie Smith, I crash in the night with Cheryl,
But in the end they never stay with me.

I might fall from a tall building so Burt Reynolds don't get hurt,
I might leap a mighty canyon so he can kiss and flirt.
While that smoth talker's kissin' my girl I'm kissin' dirt,
Yes, I'm the lonely stuntman that made a lover out of Burt.

Lee Majors - Ballad Of The Unknown Stuntman

So it's all over now. Finally. Can I start blasting Thriller again? He may have gotten weird over the years but that's still the best album ever.

I, for one, am looking forward to getting back my regularly scheduled life and absorb some real news. This trial has distracted us from the important things like Britney's baby, Brad and Angelina, Thinsey Lohan, and the coming onslaught of summer blockbusters. I think I saw something somewhere about a 2002 document that said Iraq wasn't really a threat but the U.S. and U.K. were still gonna bum rush that show. Booooring! And something about some ex porn star who blew the whistle on an administration that was around before I was born. Lame! All I wanna know is when is Sisqo making his comeback.

Jason and I were discussing the Karate Kid series yesterday. mostly The Next Karate Kid. He'd forgotten that Academy Award winner Hillary Swank was in this flick. So I turn on the tv this morning and what's playing?

I wasn't convinced at first. I didn't think people would go for it. It still may even be a fad. But now that they have episodes of Knight Rider available on iTunes I might consider upgrading, or at least downloading shows. And with the return of Must See TV, which will have me choosing between 3 different networks to Tivo on Thursday nights, it may be necessary so I don't miss Scrubs. Or maybe I should just get a second Tivo...

I must say I'm glad Comcast added TNT to their high definition line-up. Once you get past the awe of whatever beaver documentary PBS HD is showing you start to ache for more hi-def input for whatever tv you just paid a bunch for. But now TNT provides more hi-def movies, even if it is with commercials. But something they do all the time just irked me once again.

It's Sunday afternoon. I've got a little work to do so I open up the laptop on the couch and then I start flipping thru the program guide to see what's on. Ooh! Back To The Future is on. Followed by Back To The Future Part 2. Goodie! What's on next? Law & Order. WTF? Why the tease? Don't give me the first two as if that will satisfy me. Granted, you can watch only Part 1. But you can't watch Part 2 without Part 3? There's no point. Why, TNT, why?

Strangers With Candy is back on Comedy Central. Well, I should clarify, the reruns are on Comedy Central. But I've been catching up with it the past week or so. It's one of those shows I always enjoyed watching but didn't remember to watch regularly. But we live in a wondrous age where entire seasons of shows can be watched in just one weekend through the magic of those little shiny plastic discs called DVD's.

Not only was this show funny, it was also educational. It's edutainment as KRS-One would say. I recently saw this clip that forced me to take a long, hard look at myself.

The TV Land network has announced a new show starting in October called "I Pity The Fool", a series where Mr. T. travels across the country dispensing inspiration and advice.

"My show ain't no Dr. Phil, with people sitting around crying," said Mr. T in an interview with The Associated Press. "You're a fool - that's what's wrong with you. You're a fool if you don't take my advice."

Finally, a reality show worth watching!

This ninja has given me so much wisdom over the past couple of months. So I just had to share my favorite dish about ninjas, at least the favorite one that I remember right now. If you don't know, you better find out - askaninja.com

Ok, I thought the Ninja Love was my favorite but I think this one is my favorite. At least it's my favorite right now.

How dare they mess with Mr. T. Along with Mr. T, I pity the fools that used him image without permission.

During lunch today, we had an interesting conversation about women's golf which somehow led to spin-offs. We started discussing various shows and the show from which they were spun. Check out how many spin-offs All In The Family had:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_television_spin-offs

I had forgotten that Sheriff Lobo was a spin-off of BJ And The Bear. When's that coming out on DVD?

I managed to keep my mind off the Hanso Foundation most of the summer. That's a good thing because I was getting way too wrapped up in it. I felt I was setting myself up for quite a disappointment when Lost ends. But now I'm being sucked back in. The 2nd season DVD keeps taunting me on the front page of Amazon. And the 3rd season premiere is just 4 short weeks away. Tivo, don't fail me now.

TIMDOR has made it easier for us all as the Lost Experience game winds down. He's put together all 70 clips that HansoExposed.com has been releasing so you can watch it as a continuous video.

So now we know more about the Hanso Foundation and the numbers. So throw out all your old theories. I found an interesting new one:
http://www.thefuselage.com/Threaded/showthread.php?p=1158431#post1158431

OK, not all of these cartoons originated in the 80's, but the lessons to be learned are still important. Not a day goes by at the office where I'm not reminded of one.

http://cracked.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=815

Hopefully, all you iPodders (please don't sue me Apple) know that they give away a free song every week on iTunes. You can always delete the song if you don't like it. Why pass up on 52 free songs every year? And every once in a while you can find a Discovery Download - an artist that has been deemed buzzworthy.

Also, now that they're adding more video content, there's even free tv shows and short movies. This site has compiled a list of the current offerings:

http://www.itsfreedownloads.com/

This commercial wouldn't be nearly as funny without the accent. It might be politically incorrect, but you're too busy looking at the stripes to think about that.

This is funny too:

Damn you Kim Basinger!

That's right, I said it!

Despite what else is going on in the world, the media jumped all over Alec Baldwin for his nasty voicemail to his daughter. What's the big deal? I don't know the circumstances that led up to the anger so I don't feel I'm in a position to throw stones. I have heard here and there over the past couple of years that the divorce between Kim and Alec has gotten nasty. But I could care less about that situation and even less about this stupid voicemail. IMHO, kids these days need a good talking to or an occasional ass-whoopin' If I see one more 8-year-old cursing out his/her mom at the grocery store I might snap. I'm not condoning child abuse, but something like that would have been a death sentence back in the day.

So try as I might to ignore the "scandal", unfortunately now it has carried over into something I do care about - 30 Rock. I love this show. I'm glad that NBC has given it a chance to grow and I was really happy to hear it's coming back for a second season. And a big part of this show is Alec Baldwin. And now he's threatening to leave the show. WHAT!? They finally find something for Tracy Morgan to do where I can stand him for more than 5 minutes and now it might have to go away all because of Kim Basinger. That's right, I blame her. You know why? How else did that voicemail get "leaked." It had to be her. Until someone from CSI tells me different, I'm blaming her.

Patton Oswalt cracks me up!!!

You know Data had all the Federation bitches in check.

They're screwing with the timeline... AGAIN!

I was dissatisfied with Terminator 3 because it screwed up the timeline. The first 2 movies were consistent with a single timeline and the third movie screwed it up and now this series will only mess it up more. Just had to get that one out of the way.

OK, now they've jumped 10 years into the future and the body of the terminator that was trying to kill them in 1997 just happened to be laying around in a junkyard?

Ok, say you're investigating a bank robbery. 3 people have locked themselves inside the vault. This guy shows up and walks inside and begins to tear the vault door apart. His head gets blown off and it is revealed to be a robot instead of a man. What happens to the robot? It gets thrown into a junkyard. WTF?

So now the head and body are reunited. But how did the head make it to 2007 if nothing that isn't alive can't go through the time portal?

This one really should have been number 1.

The name!!

"Chronicles?" Really? Didn't you guys learn from that Riddick mess a few years ago?

Season 1, Episode 4: Heavy Metal

Blackberry's are not that fragile.

What the hell? Is it 1990 again?

I would think that even Flavor Flav would be above this mess. Seriously, is there a market for this? Aren't the people involved ashamed of themselves? Can just anybody write a pilot these days?

The Scofield brothers need to hook up with this dog.

Snoopy Scofield

30 Rock continues to crack me up. The last episode had an appearance by Tracy Jordan's son, who is filarious. I just found this clip on Funny Or Die. Enjoy.